Emma Pears is a leadership consultant, bestselling author and keynote speaker who focuses on helping individuals understand pressure and respond to it more effectively.
As one of the leading stress management speakers, her work centres on how perspective, emotional awareness and decision-making shape the way people experience stress in both life and leadership.
As the Founding Director of Solomon Hunt and author of ‘What Does It Matter?: Live with Less Stress and More Joy,’ Emma combines behavioural insight with practical frameworks that help people pause, think clearly and respond rather than react.
Her work supports leaders and teams looking to manage pressure, build resilience and perform well in demanding environments.
In this exclusive interview with the Mental Health Speakers Agency, Emma Pears shares her insights on why stress is often misunderstood, how effective leaders respond when things go wrong, and the practical tools people can use to gain perspective and regain control when life feels overwhelming.
Q1. Stress is often portrayed as something purely negative. What do people most commonly misunderstand about stress and how it actually works?
Emma Pears: “I observe that people often see stress as something out there acting on them, almost as if they are under attack and feeling constant pressure. That is understandable because we do feel it physically and emotionally.
“The reality is that stress is not all bad. Sometimes the message out there is to get rid of all stress in your life, run away from stress, or treat stress as something purely negative. The truth is that stress can actually keep you alive at times and help you perform at your optimum.
“The goal is not to eliminate stress. The goal is to avoid living in a high state of stress all the time. Stress can help us, particularly as leaders in business, to perform well if we allow it to and learn how to harness it properly.
“The challenge is not living permanently in that heightened state. At the same time, feeling no stress at all could also be a warning sign, so that is something to watch out for.
“Stress is not an outside force attacking us. We experience it internally. We feel it physically and emotionally. For me personally, I notice stress in my breathing. My breathing feels heavy when I am overwhelmed. When I notice that signal, it tells me I need to change something, take stock and act.
“There is not actually an elephant on my chest. It just feels like there is. That is the reality. Stress is a human emotional experience.
“Something I have observed is that people believe their emotions completely, but emotions are not always true. Emotions are not facts. Emotions are data telling us something.
“So I try to help people recognise what emotion they are feeling and what that emotion is telling them they may need to do differently. Of course, there are moments of crisis where we simply have to react. But if life feels continually stressful, learning how to recover from that high state becomes a priority.
“Stress is an emotion we experience, and emotions are data. They are not always facts. I am not saying what causes someone’s stress is not real. I am saying we still have choices in how we respond to it.”
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Q2. When challenges arise, the difference between reacting and responding can define leadership. What do the best leaders do differently in those moments?
Emma Pears: “As leaders, things go wrong. They just do.
“The key is training ourselves to think before we act. Our thinking informs our feelings, and our feelings inform our behaviours and choices.
“One tool is to create a pause. I often use the phrase “what does it matter?” That pause allows us to step back and make better decisions rather than reacting immediately.
“Brilliant leaders tend to think about the bigger picture. People who struggle in leadership roles often see situations only from their own perspective.
“What great leaders do differently is consider multiple perspectives. They recognise that while something may look one way from their angle, there may be other factors or viewpoints involved.
“Leaders who respond well are able to step back and see the problem as separate from themselves. They examine the different moving parts and consider the wider situation.
“Another important quality is the ability to take advice. That does not mean waiting to be told what to do. It simply means recognising that, as humans, we do not always have every answer and we are not always right.
“Many factors influence our behaviour and decisions. Listening to trusted counsel can be extremely valuable.”
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Q3. You often talk about perspective. When people feel trapped in their own thoughts, what practical tools can help them step back and regain clarity?
Emma Pears: “Feeling stuck in our own heads is a very human experience. In both my work life and my home life, I see that people experience this regularly.
“There are several tools I share in my book. One of them is the 10-10-10 method, where you ask yourself: will this matter in 10 minutes, 10 days, 10 weeks, 10 months or 10 years? That question quickly helps put situations into perspective.
“Another tool I created is called Five to Thrive. It asks a simple question: is everyone safe, fed, clean, warm and loved?
“If the answer is yes, then you are doing all right. If the answer to any of those is no, then you know exactly where your attention needs to go.
“When the answer is yes, it allows you to pause, breathe and recognise that everything else is a bonus.
“Another technique is speaking to yourself using your own name. It may sound unusual, but when we verbalise something out loud and use our own name, our brain hears it and processes it differently.
“For example, I might say, ‘Emma, this is really important right now,’ and speak to myself that way. It can help refocus your thinking.
“Psychologist Ethan Kross also talks about the power of awe and wonder. I use this idea often. I go out into nature and remind myself that I am just a tiny human on a spinning planet. Not everything relies on me, and I do not have to have every answer.
“One thing I do regularly is what I call the sunrise and sunset series. I intentionally seek out sunrises and sunsets because they help me regain perspective.
“They remind me that not everything depends on me and that it is okay not to have everything perfectly under control.
“Breathing techniques also help. I often practise box breathing, visualising a box while breathing in and out in measured counts.
“These tools help calm the nervous system and allow us to step away from the rumination we can easily get caught in.”
This exclusive interview with Emma Pears was conducted by Tabish Ali of the Motivational Speakers Agency.
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